Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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