watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
