i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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