So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
