no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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