In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
