Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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