I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
