Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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