It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize