shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
