Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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