Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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