i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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