We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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