My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
