walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
