Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize