Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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