she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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