The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
