Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
These tits shall not be calmed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize