im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
