i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the day after is always just damage control
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
