I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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