Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
