yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
