I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
