so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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