put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
