dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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