No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
