How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
porn star boner night. come get it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
