you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
