are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
