It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
