I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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