Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
