Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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