This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
