summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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