In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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