im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
