what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
