I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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