STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
