we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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