I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
