I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
