you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
