iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize