so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
