Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
