Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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