Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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