Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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