Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
