She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
not ubering you a puppy
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