All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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